There is so much information on the interwebz. On everything and anything and all of the things. Meditation is no exception here. This, coupled with the different ancient philosophies, interpretations, disciplines and religions it can be overwhelming.
But the goal of my little corner of the interwebz is definitely not to process all of this information. It is to share my journey. What I’m trying, what I’ve found and where I’m headed.
So much about mediation is grounded in connecting – to our minds, our souls, our environment and our community. So I’m here to share and hopefully connect with those that are also at some point on own journey.
This is my Meditation Recipe, the steps that bring me in and out of my personal practice.
I sit cross legged on a cushion. Sometimes I’m in my living room and sometimes I am at a local meditation center that has open sitting hours (more on that later).
I close my eyes.
I rest my hands on my thighs, palms facing down. This is considered more internal. Palms up would be more external.
I then rock side to side on my sit bones to try to get level and comfortable. I do that a few times and then come back to stillness.
Now I meditate.
For me, for this stage of my practice, meditation means bringing my awareness within the edges of my form.
I go inside my form by first finding my edges. Maybe that is your skin. Maybe that is a mental outline you create of your body. For me, it’s this little bit of heat I feel between my skin and the world. I find it with my mind and then come inside it. (This is also why I choose to practice with my palms facing down.)
This may be uncharted territory and that can be uncomfortable. Going inside my form can be really cozy somedays and really uncomfortable other days. Sometimes I just don’t want to go there. This happens when there is something I don’t want to face or feel or deal with. That being said, I have gotten to the point where I usually can get myself to at least toe the line. So some days I go inside and some days I just get really close.
Once I’ve arrived, I then find my breath. I focus on feeling it. I try to notice each articulation as it fills and empties my lungs. I focus on how the breath moves my body – lifting my sternum and collar bones as I inhale and deflating my torso as I exhale. I try to feel the muscles on the inside moving and stretching. I focus on the moment of stillness as the breath transitions from in to out. How much of my breath can I feel? Can I feel it all?
And of course I loose my focus. Sometimes often, sometimes a little less than often.
When this happens, I ask myself to come back. Just come back within my edges. Come back to my breath.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself. Sometimes I feel like i’m just going through the motions. Sometimes I can’t imagine going inside my edges.
But then sometimes I catch myself thinking that I feel good. Really good. And that is great.